Take a moment

My job can be stressful, when I take myself too seriously.  There are so many people around me taking themselves and what is done unto them seriously, that it's hard not to follow suit.

My teacher is always saying one should take what you do seriously, but not yourself.

I think this works really well with the philosophy that what people do or say to you should not be taken personally.

Whenever negative intent is sent at you it comes from a place of unconsciousness.  The person stood there in front of you as the ranting customer has slipped out of reality as it is and into their role of the affronted, offended, cheated or otherwise unsatisfied 'customer'.  They are no longer themselves, they have identified with the role they are playing out and so feel they have to behave in such a way to you, the representative of of, or as they more likely see it, you are the company.

Thinking about it like this it's very easy not to take it personally - well, maybe it's not very easy but it gets easier with practice.

Whilst all around you are losing their heads and getting caught up in roles, 'the unhappy customer', 'the stressed engineer', 'the underpaid overworked employee' you can breath, refuse to take whatever is said to you as a personal attack.

I would rather practice this surrounded by superficial role playing then try it for the first time when someone, identified with the role of axe murderer, comes charging at me with murderous intent!  Think about it in martial terms if you like.  If you are still taking flippant remarks about how long it has taken to fix some one's computer as a personal affront and feeling the blood rush to your head as your ego screams at you to 'Say something!  You can't let her talk to me like that!' (for example) how the hell are you going to stay calm and centered enough in a violent situation to help matters or at the very least save your own skin?

So today, in the wake of senior managers sticking in their oar, in the midst of colleagues raging against the machine, under the weight of a never ending list of service requests - I pruned my banzai tree.  

Take a moment for yourself and breath.  For a moment, don't do anything for anyone else.  The voice in the back of your mind urging you to 'hurry up, move on, what's the next thing?' doesn't have to be listened to.  You can take a moment and not 'do' anything with it at all.  The more you do this, the more space you will see around the events in your life, the less reactive you will get and the more intelligently you will act.